


Creo En Ti

by ofasingle_rose



Category: One Day at a Time (TV 2017), odaat
Genre: (though nobody actually kills themselves), Basically an “what if Schneider didn’t relapse” AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Oneshot, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Suicide mention, platonic Alvareider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 16:52:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17871062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofasingle_rose/pseuds/ofasingle_rose
Summary: Father's visit left Schneider emotionally drained.  Penelope is there to help.





	Creo En Ti

**Author's Note:**

> So... hello! This is my first time posting something on here so I'm hoping it's good enough lol... I started writing this a little before season 3 came out and I'm really glad that the show went the direction it went. Schneider has always been one of my favorite characters and I'm glad they decided to give him more depth this season. Anyway... this is not my best but I like it! Here's to hoping you do too!

Schneider had overcome his fair share of addictions. From pills and cocaine, to peach schnapps and whiskey. All of them leading him to a downward spiral that seemed impossible to escape at times.

It wasn’t until Lydia’s sopa de pollo at the rehab clinic that he decided he should at least give himself a chance. 

He had gotten better. Much better. Hanging out with the Alvarezes helped keep him grounded. He spent his time exercising, and making snow globes and fixing up the building. Overall enjoying his time sober.

Not to say he didn’t have his off-days. The days were he wanted to scratch the needle marks off his arms. Scream himself sore until he forgot the way it burned his throat every time he took a shot of whiskey. 

After his father came to visit he locked himself in his apartment for a whole week. Ignoring every text, every call, every email. Only getting out of bed to drink some water and go to the restroom. He lived off the granola bars and peanut butter he kept by his bed.

It wasn’t until Saturday night that he had gone on a bathroom run and was on his way back to bed, when he heard a knock at his door. Since he was already up he decided he might as well see who it was. His self loathing could wait a few minutes.

He opened the door to see Penelope. Penelope in her flowered scrubs and black cardigan.

“You want to come over for dinner?” she asked. “We haven’t seen you in a while so mami made ropa vieja. She knows it’s your favorite.”

“Thanks Pen, but I’m not feeling really well right now. Maybe next time?”

A weak excuse. He just didn’t want to be surrounded by temptations. Lydia’s rum. Penelope’s antidepressants…It was the last thing he needed, and judging from her reaction it was obviously the wrong thing to say. She immediately went into mom mode.

“Are you sick? When was the last time you ate? Does your head hurt? Did you accidentally eat one of those whiskey chocolates your step mom sent you for Christmas!?”

The panic in her voice made him feel a lot worse than he had all week. 

“Pen I threw those away the moment I got them.”

“What about your dad’s Don Julio Real?”

“Down the drain as soon as he left. Don’t worry Pen. I’m fine, just tired.” He shot her a smile for emphasis, but it felt forced. Even to him. 

“What about food? When was the last time you ate?”

“A few hours ago. I’m not really that hungry.” Lies.

“You sure? I can tell mami to make you something. You know she’ll have it ready in no time. Anything you want. ” She was trying to get him to come down. He could tell by the worried look in her eyes... even if she tried to cover it up by smiling.

But he really was tired. And he couldn’t take it upon himself to accept her pity.

“Not today Pen. But thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gave her a weak smile and closed the door before she could say anything else. He wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and wake up a completely different person. One that didn’t feel the need to buy himself a drink every time his father came to visit.

He was about to go back to bed when his phone buzzed. A text from Penelope.

back in 5 

He groaned. It’s not like he didn’t want her there... but... he definitely didn’t want her there. He didn’t want her to know how hard it was for him sometimes. What she didn’t know wouldn’t kill her, and he definitely didn’t want her to know about his week long pity party.

He knew better than to tell her no, though. Penelope was capable of sitting by his door all night if he refused to open up (stubborn as hell that woman). So when she knocked for the second time that evening he didn’t even bother with a greeting. He just opened the door and told her to let herself in. 

“I brought you some food,” she said. In her hands she carried a small tupperware full of ropa vieja. 

“I told you I’m not really hungry.”

“I know, but what kind of Cuban mother would I be if I left you up here knowing you hadn’t eaten yet?” She laughed and walked towards the kitchen in search of plates. With her back towards him she didn’t notice the deep frown on his face. “I’m not about to let you starve yourself.”

“Why not?” He sounded angry. Why was he angry? That he had a wonderful friend who brought him food? That he had a person that actually cared about him? 

“Seriously Schneider”, he thought, “grow the fuck up.”

Penelope simply scoffed, as if the very question offended her. “What do you mean ‘why not’?” 

“I mean, why on Earth are you trying so fucking hard?” he said before he could stop himself. “Why on Earth do give half a fuck about me?”

Penelope had never heard Schneider curse before. It was scary. It brought back memories of Victor.

Victor screaming. 

Throwing things.

Breaking things.

“If I’m such a fucking asshole why don’t I just fucking kill myself huh Pen?”

She shook the memory out of her head. This wasn’t Victor she was talking to. 

This was Schneider. Goofy, happy Schneider. The one with too many hobbies and kindness to spare. The one who took Alex to baseball games and laughed at all of Elena’s corny puns.

If Schneider was cursing, there must be a good reason. She just needed to calm him down and figure out what it was.

“Of course I care about you. You’re my friend.” She spoke slowly, carefully. Afraid that the smallest thing might set him off.

“Well you fucking shouldn’t,” he spat. “I’m not worth anybody’s time.”

“I think I can choose for myself who’s worthy of my time or not.” She crossed her arms. Confused. 

“Right. And you chose a fucking drug addict with daddy issues. Real smart Penelope.”

It was her turn to get angry. Where was this even coming from?Was that really how he saw himself?

“I think you mean former addict. Going on 8 years sober. With a dad who does not know how lucky he is that he lives 1000 miles north. Otherwise I would give him a piece of my mind.”

Schneider chose to ignore her words and continue with his rant. “I can’t believe you trust me with your kids! Your kids Penelope! Who on Earth would trust someone like me with their kids?! What if I decided to drink myself stupid and take Alex for a drive? What if something happened Pen? You wouldn’t know until it was too late!”

She was trying to remain calm, but it was so hard when she saw the genuine terror in his eyes. The panic. The hurt...

She took in a shaky breath and let it out slowly. She couldn’t believe this was an actual conversation they were having. Not after all the effort he had put into his recovery.

“Schneider,” she tried. “Schneider calm down.”

He was pacing across the apartment now, running his hands through his hair, a crazed look in his eyes.

“No! No I can’t calm down! This is serious Pen! Do you know how much I’ve been wanting a drink today? And every other day for the past eight years? Do you know how close I was to drinking father’s liquor?!”

She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. Kept him still. He just stood there arms straight down, refusing to look down at her as she ran her hands soothingly up and down his back.

“But you haven’t. You haven’t gone downstairs to steal Mami’s rum or taken a sip of your father’s stupid tequila.” She looked up at him. “Do you know how much strength that takes? Do you know how strong you are Schneider?” She said this with as much fierceness as she could muster. Willing to him to accept her words as truth.

He just gave her a sad look. His eyes red with tears. “Pen...I’m just so scared.”

And damn if it didn’t break her heart hearing him say that.

“You have nothing to be afraid of. We are all here for you. Mami, Elena, Alex… me.”

He hugged her back. Rested his cheek against her hair. “I believe you. But I also know one day you’re going to realize I’m too much trouble to keep around. You don’t need another addict under your roof. You don’t need the constant threat of a relapse… you don’t know how bad I can get.”

She could feel a few errant tears make their way down her cheeks. “I don’t need to know love.” Her voice was breaking too. “I don’t need to know. You’re my friend. My ride or die. What kind of friend would I be if I gave up on you at the first sign of trouble?”

“A responsible one Pen. You have family...children to think about.”

“You’re my family too. And you don’t give up on family. Ever.”

“Isn’t that what you did with Victor though? Gave up on him? And you know that was the right thing to do!” He hated himself the moment he said it. The words left a horrible taste in his mouth. He didn’t want to hurt her, not ever, but the arguments came oh so easily to him. And he needed her to understand that even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t always be able to help him. There would be a time in which it all became too much, and she would have to let go.

Her tears were coming down faster, and her breaths were coming in shorter. But she was determined to making him understand. “That was different! Victor didn’t want to put in the effort to help himself. He couldn’t be bothered to get better… but you, you tried. Time and time again you tried to get better, and you keep on trying every single day. It wasn’t safe back then... with Victor in the house. But I know I can trust you with my life.” 

She squeezed him tighter, trying to convey the words she couldn’t bring herself to say. “I trust you. You would never do anything to hurt us.” 

He was crying now too. Loud and unashamed. All the hurt that had been building up over the week, finally spilling over. “I just don’t want to fall again.” 

He buried his head in her shoulder, not really caring about how uncomfortable the position was... given their height difference. “You won’t”

“You don’t know that.”

“Even if you do it doesn’t matter.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“I love you Pen.”

“I love you too. And I believe in you. Try to remember that?”

“I will.”


End file.
